I feel so dumb right now and very angry at myself, which is why I'm adding this anonymously. I've been going back and forth about having kids for the longest time, not sure if I really want to do it, not sure if I'm really ready. My husband 100% wants kids right away, he's totally sure. We had a plan to start trying this month and today is one of my most fertile days. I told myself that I was ready to ditch the condoms today. This morning we had sex and I told him he didn't have to put one on. I was nervous, but I felt OK about it. Then halfway through doing it I started panicking about getting pregnant and I asked if he could put one on. He finished with a condom. Afterwards, I got really upset with myself for chickening out and I apologized repeatedly to my husband. He wasn't mad and was very understanding. But I'm mad at myself and very embarrassed. Please help me! Is this normal? Does it mean that I'm not ready to have kids? That deep down I don't want kids? Or is it just cold feet? Should we hold off on getting pregnant or should we try again?