Today he told me he as officially decided without question that there are too many other things he wants to do before becoming a parent. He wants to travel , live in other states, all sorts of things. Good for him I guess. But he has decided to not be involved with our child, to any extent. Yes I know I'll be able to get child support. Yes, I know things will turn out okay. But my heart just breaks for this unborn baby. I look back at the loving childhood I had. Two parents who were married, I had two sisters, and just a happy wonderful childhood. I know wonderful loving families come in all shapes and sizes. I just wonder what kind of life my baby will have. If it will wonder why it's dad left. If it will feel unloveable on certain levels. No child should have to feel that way.

I'm angry at this man for being so selfish. I want him involved. Even if he can't be here all the time or it's not ideal. I want my child to know his/ her father and have a relationship. 

I worried, scared, and somehow feel guilty too for not giving my baby a better father. The father and I have been friends for a very long time. We've both always been interested in one another and decided to give dating a try earlier this year. We decided we were better off as friends. Shortly after we found out I was pregnant. I feel like I've lost one of my closest friends. 

I'm just heartbroken. On so many levels. For both myself and my baby. I'm uncertain what the future hold for us, but it doesn't seem to involve the father.