Today I started having he most overwhelming anxiety and depression. I have some fears about my first appointment tomorrow and I'm nervous about the entire thing. Meeting a new doctor, knowing I'm high risk what will be more complication possibilities, etc. 

I couldn't even make it in to work today as I was feeling SO exhausted and mentally petrified this morning. We planned this pregnancy and thought it may take a bit sooner then we expected it to take, but in the last few days I have started losing my excitement. I've wished I wasnt pregnant and just wished I had control of my body again. Has anyone else experienced this at all? I've been looking for issues in my marriage and started a mental list of all the potential reasons having a baby right now is actually going to amplify all of those issues. And I have kept thinking that I'm going to be a terrible mother. What the hell? I don't understand why I'm having all of these feelings. I want to just be happy and glowing and lovely. Im just not feeling it. 

I'm sad and I feel like a cow. My poor husband is trying so hard to cheer me up but he feels like he has failed me. 

Any insights or suggestions would be appreciated.