The boy i though was my bf for 8 months was married

While a write this i wanna cry so hard, so i discover this two days ago while a was with a friend. To make the story short first i need some advice cuz my heart is so fucking broken like you cannot imagine.

Two days ago i discover that on facebook we where together since december and i told him why you cheat me all this time (he got married in march) why you dont leave me while we where short time together? I dont even wanna see the woman he got married and also is not her fault, maybe you think why you dont write to her and tell her all of that? Well first and i hate me for this i love him so much and i dont want to hurt nobody else with this. So he even delete me from whatsapp and i told him why you do that? Im the one who should delete you not you so he told me What do you want from me? And he add me again. I want an explication! But he dont tell.me he told me i dont want to lose also that he love me, that im so special to him and a lot of more things.

Yesterday i see him he came for me at work and we go to lunch while we where in the taxi i wanst next to him i msde some space but he took me in the taxi next to him.and kiss me and all that time his arms where around me kissing me aghhhhh i feel awfull we eat and then i have sex with him (i know im awfull) i need to leave him, a friend of me told me that i dont love myself thats the reason you are with him. He also tell me that no one make him so horny, etc... So i want to understand something how he do that? I mean we go out and eat in public places!!! We are public! People i even introduce him to all my family and i never do that with anyone, i told him how you make me this my nephews tell him uncle he was the love of my life and i need to say we have a hard relationship but now all that make sense, he move to that apartament new and i always told him why you dont take me there and sleep together i he always excuse herself i mean what a fucking liar i want to hate him so hard but i dont know how to hate. He tell.me all this fucking beautiful words about myself yesterday but sometimes he treat me bad like today.

Im.sorry for the long post please i need advice cuz this is making me crazy my heart is broke

This is an update : i know i feel so fucking bad and all this time he treat me a little bad i dont deserve that i he is always jealous

Update: i know i should tell his wife but i dont gain nothing doing that also if we think shes a victim like me. Today he was with his crazy things telling me that im gonna have sex with my co workers, what was that about? I mean am a serious person i never cheat on him im always at home i only go out with him when he have time so i dont know why he use words hurting me like that is like he is the victim and is not i am and im crazy cuz i dont know how i was with him yesterday