Lost it....

We're 11 DPO cycle 6 today. I couldn't help it this cycle and I've been testing since 8dpo. I just felt like this was our month.

Finally got a first response today thinking for sure it would show our bfp. AF due Monday.

It didn't and I totally lost it. We've been doing everything I can think of and at 27 no doctor is going to check us for fertility problems before a year which isn't until July 2015!

I've wanted to be a mom since I was 14 and I just feel like so much less of a woman because my body is betraying me the one thing it was made to do.

Then I feel guilty for being so upset when I'm so blessed in other ways. Literally everything else in our lives is great.

It went back and forth in my head like that with intermittent tears and near hysteria for almost two hours.

I just feel so out of control and like I can't do anything to influence this.

I kept thinking, we should take a break, stop the stress. But then I couldn't imagine not trying. It's a catch 22 and I hate it.

Praying we get a bfp soon. I don't think my nerves can take it much longer.