....Maybe miscarriage....

A couple of years ago I had a really weird period...which I didn't think much of at the time. I had a lot of trouble with my hormones and had a really bad case of hypothyroidism and was diagnosed with Addison's disease. long story short I hadn't been taking medicine for it for awhile and so everything was so messed up. Anyways had a lump (bigger then I ever had before!) come out and it was hard and just weird and it passed my mind like what if I wasmiscarrying. I mean I had been having unprotected sex (he would pull out...) but I didn't worry so much because it would be only by God's doing for me to get pregnant. I have seen several pictures of people's miscarriages on here and it looks so close to what I had...my question is (I wasn't far along at all!) when do you think the soul is in the body? Do you think that I might happen to have a little baby in heaven? I have always wanted to be a mom! As a child I always said that I wanted to be a model and a mom! Lol I think it's just hit me that I had at one point a baby... And I feel awful that i didn't even know they existed... I would have I don't know..not just have thrown it in the toilet like I did! I don't know if I could have done anything to change the ending, but I feel I like almost treated it in this awful way and I don't know how to compartmentalize this...how to handle it... You don't have to comment on this but it is nice to at least put it out there...