Was this even a relationship?

My boyfriend broke up with me because I didn't love him to his standard and I didn't know what I wanted. I lost my v card to him and he didn't even ask me if I wanted to he just put it in. I lost all my friends but 2 because of him. He didn't like me hanging out with my friends, he didn't like what I wear. At the beginning I saw him 3 times a week thinking we were going to the movie or do something fun, but no ever single time it was about the sex. I would say no all the time but he will still do it. All I ever wanted was a time I could just watch a movie and snuggle up to him without having sex. He didn't like me wearing clothes around him so I wasn't allowed to. I would get to the stage of panic attacks, suicide thoughts and all that. It lasted a long time and I was never really happy from the beginning. And that's when I slowed down seeing him because I knew it was only about the sex and I didn't want to. And I always had a bad gut feeling about him. But I didn't listen :(