Just had a fight with my husband and I'm the "bad guy" once again...

Apparently, I've been a bit snippy with my husband this morning.

He responded by telling me that I'm being "Jane" (a verbally abusive person we both know who is in a bad marriage as a result of her actions) and he doesn't want to be "paul" (the verbally abused husband). Then told me to "cheer up and be nice" then left the room.

This hurt my feelings because I didn't realize I'd be short with him.

I got upset and started to cry, so I told him that I didn't want to go out with our friends and he should go without me. He then got annoyed and it turned into a fight.

The long and short of it came down to him not understanding why I am upset in the first place and saying some very hurtful things. Including that I'm upset because I want to be. And that I'm making a fight over nothing.

We were having issues like this a few months ago and I read a really great book that helped me a lot. It made me better at communicating and he agreed to read the book too to help us keep on the right track.

Well, things were better, so he never bothered to read it. And now, when I'm having a bad day and can't "find the love" in the things that he's saying, suddenly he's accusing me of being the whole problem.

I just feel so defeated right now, I'm trying to follow the teachings and respect my husband unconditionally, but it's so hard when I feel like he's not even making an effort.

Sorry, I know this is just a rant, but I don't have any friends or family close that I can talk to about it.