Needing to get something off my chest
So this may be long I'm not sure..
My mother has always been violent, for as long as I can remember hitting was the way to ensure things were done. I guess I never realized the issue with it until my boyfriend and I discussed our childhoods and I realized how weird mine was. I mean I always got hit with the belt like that was just the thing to be beat with as a child or a wire hanger. My brother and I just took our punishments and went about our day. When I got into middle school as a typical teenager does I gained an attitude, I wasn't a terrible kid though. I just seemed to be getting beat for everything. It seemed to gradually get worse. My mother turned to extension cords to beat me and those would just leave terrible terrible bruises all over my back and stomach. I have a very ugly memory of myself coming home to the cord already in her hand I don't even remember what I did I just went numb and remember laying in my bed in pain. Through my middle school years she pretty much stuck with using cords to beat me, and when she was done she would lay next to me and rub my back telling me she was sorry until I fell asleep. By the time I got to highschool any little thing would set her off, I was terrified of her loud screaming. She would drag me by my hair, punch me in my stomach, and anywhere else she could. I suffered many busted lips that I had to attempt to cover with lipstick. My sophomore year of highschool I came home with a 75 in Spanish. She nearly broke my nose. I had patches of hair ripped out,
the bleeding from both my nose and my mouth would not stop. And then, I hit her back.. She started crying. she never hit me again. She never apologized either. We don't talk about it. I have a two year old sister and I don't want her to ever feel pain the way I have. I love my mother.. She's done a lot for me, but I think she may have done wrong also. I'm afraid to admit that what she did was wrong. I just needed to vent..