That I am not alone. That it's ok. That I'm not a failure. That I can still be successful.

I want to breastfeed my twins. But I'm not able to. My skin starting from under the breasts till the c section scar hurts crazily. I did power pumping twice yesterday. That's all I could do. I'm sore. I'm so much in pain. My entire body hurts. Hurts so much way worse than it did in pregnancy. I struggle to stand. I lost control over leg muscles. My butt hurts when I go to the toilet. I'm tired. I get depressed looking at the pump. I don't make more than 15cc per session. I'm drinking water, eating oats, taking fenugreek and blessed thistle. I know they will work if I pump regularly but I'm too sore to pump 8 times a day. When will I heal? When will I be normal? How do I pump in so much for? I know I'll never get this time back again and milk lost once is lost forever. But for how much more time should I suffer? Why is giving breastmilk turning out to be a nightmare? How is everyone else doing with twins? Do I need counselling? I can't stop crying.