‼️Boyfriend & consent HELP
7 or so months ago, I was half asleep on my boyfriend's couch, & he started trying to have sex with me. I woke up, said "dude, I'm half asleep...." & he stopped immediately, realizing what he did was dumb.
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Now yesterday, he tried initiating sex, but I was on a heavy day & had my menstrual cup in, so I told him no. He respected that, but instead started masturbating on top of me. I let it continue even though I was uncomfortable because I felt powerless & surprised that he apparently hadn't learned that he should seek my consent before doing things.
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Anyway, I'm torn. I know he has no malicious intent, & that he's genuinely just misinformed about how to gauge consent, which is something we came to an agreement on yesterday. I just don't know if I'm downplaying the situation or even overreacting about it. As of right now, after our talk yesterday, we're acting normal. I just don't know if it's dumb of me to stay with him, because even though his poor education on consent isn't his fault, he's put me in situations where I felt bad saying no, even if unintentional.
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Ugh. Help please. What do I do. I love him & don't want to hurt him (just like he never, ever meant to hurt me) but I also want to be sure I'm doing what's right for myself.
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- (& to people like Amber who just want to say "tell him if you're uncomfortable", please reference back to the feelings of being disrespected & powerless I mentioned earlier. I'm not asking how to fix the consent situation. Like I said, we worked something out yesterday. I'm essentially asking if I'm dumb for staying with him.)
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