How to cope?

Question

My bf is 22 and I'm 20. I know I'm young, but I know he's the love of my life and he feels the same way about me. But he says he never wants to get married or have children. Idk how to feel or cope with this. Will he change ? Idk its such a weird thing to feel. Especially when I see all the women talk about how he proposed or their kids. I really love him but it just makes me sad he feels this way about those topics.

Answer

If that's how he feels then he probably won't change. Don't count on it at least. If those things are important to you, don't sacrifice them and find someone else.

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If you know marriage and kids are something you want I wouldn't wait around for your boyfriend to change.  I would talk to your boyfriend about what you really want. This way you can know what you should expect and if it's something you can deal with.  Don't settle you will regret it later. Good luck

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When my husband and I were first dating and even for maybe the first 2 years he was adamant about not getting married and not having kids. So I was super surprised when he proposed and now talks about having a dozen kids. Haha. He says he was scared of the whole thing and being with me changed his views. I say give him time and he might change his tune. If I would have left when he said he didn't want those things I would have missed out on marrying my best friend. Good luck :)

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Chances are,  he won't change.  And those aren't things you should compromise on.  You don't want to resent each other for life.

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If your truly believe that he's not going to change (because he is 22 and most guys are not ready for that stuff until 30) then I would move on, if you know what you want in your life don't sit and wait and waste your time, life is short, do what's best for you.

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He may be the moon, but you're the sun. Don't sacrifice your dreams and put them off in hopes that one day he might come around. I was in your exact situation for well over a year and it only made me miserable. Now I've found my better half, my one true joy, and we're planning the marriage and family we both so desperately want. Be patient. You have so much life ahead of you still! Your time will come.

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You really need to decide how important these things are to YOU firstly. Then talk to him about it. Not everyone changes so you can't count on it. I didn't want to marry until 36yrs old. When I started wanting kids I was with a guy who said he never wanted to be a dad again. I had to decide if The relationship was more important or my desire to be a parent. I decided how happy I already was was enough and I could give up my dream of motherhood but it hurt A LOT. I got lucky and a few years later he told me he want to have a child with me after all and a week later he proposed. We have been TTCing for 1 1/2 years and married 6 months.

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My guy is 2 years older than me & says the same thing, he also says he isn't ready to think about either yet & he never had good examples of a marriage & had horror experience with his nice & nephew.
Give him time- after 4 years mine said he wants to be sure he can support a wife & he will think of kids later.
Your guy might just need a bit of time to adjust & be sure of himself.

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Have you asked him & he said he's not interested, or is it just a topic he's never brought up?
If y'all have never talked about it & you know you want these things, ask him about it.
If he is wholly not interested then you need to decide if this is something you're okay with or not. I can't tell you to wait him out or leave because he may change his mind with time - but - there's a chance he may not.
I didn't want marriage or kids for a long, long time but I came around to the idea (first marriage & recently kids), but I have friends that didnr want them before & still don't.

It's a tough choice all the way around.

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I had exactly the same Hun. Took 12 years but we are now married lol