How do I not fear this pregnancy?

Question

I'm 3 weeks and 6 days and my husband and I are over the moon. But after a loss at11 weeks 3 days in May of this year...how do I not worry that every pang is a sign? Not obsessively check tissue paper when I wipe? Not calculate every risk? I'm trying SO HARD to be ok. My husband's current coping mechanism is alcohol. I know he's terrified. He's excited. But terrified.

Is there a way to feel less afraid?
To calm his fears?
Are there tests we need to be running early?(I have PCOS and am overweight. Last time they shrugged that off. Said if I got pregnant I was cured until The baby was born. I know that's BS. And we are going with a different doctor. But any specific tests or requests are helpful)
Besides the basics (prenatals, drinking water, getting enough rest, eating as healthily as I can) what else can I do to help baby grow and be ok?

I'm actually LESS afraid of losing it than I was last time. I just felt off before. But I'm so afraid to be attached.

Thanks

Answer

In my opinion, there is nothing you can do. Fear is natural. I'm terrified. It means you care. This time I just made sure to check my levels and I'm taking progesterone suppositories. I'm also taking a baby aspirin every day. Other than that, you just gotta have faith. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer

I know how you feel. I just got my bfp yesterday. We are happy, but terrified at the same time. I had two miscarriages last year. One at 11 weeks, then @16 weeks last June.  
The only advice that I have is to take one day at a time. That is what I am focusing on. I am eating healthy, exercising, and taking my vitamins. In all honesty, that's all we can do. (And lots of prayers) Best of luck to you.

Answer

The first trimester is the worst. You will feel better once you have surpassed that landmark day and you will no doubt go happily into your second trimester. Success!

Be aware though, spotting happens and not to be afraid when it occurs. I am 38 weeks and had my first pelvic exam for a dialation check. I panicked when I saw the spotting after. First time this entire pregnancy I panicked.

To be honest, until you are over 20 weeks there isn't much medically to do for a miscarriage for its from chromosomal or genetic problems. Accepting that meant I was able to enjoy this pregnancy, and bringing it to term and also accepting if it wasn't meant to be, it will happen a 4th time hopefully.

Answer

I would love to say try not to think about it.  I just found out I'm pregnant for my 4th time in a year and a half after 3 losses.  Every cramp or wipe I panic.  There is nothing you can do, honestly.  I'm going to try and distract myself. Best of luck.

Answer

Thanks everyone. Just wanted to give an update that we had our first ultrasound at 7 weeks 3 days and baby was right on track. Last time t was behind by a week. Heard a strong heartbeat at 151 (it was 126 last time) and were really hopeful.

I'm also SUPER sick. And while that's annoying it's kind of reassuring that baby has all the right hormones going.

Answer

I understand you perfectly. But I chose to 'be thankful and believe this will stick. If I decide to live with fear, I just wonder for how long cos I lost my twins at 27weeks plus.

How do I not fear this pregnancy?

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