Unable to breastfeed vent

Because baby had jaundice I was told we had to give him formula so that he would poop (he popped at birth and went 4 days without pooping) after he was given the first bottle he refuse the breast so I Have been pumping since day 2 and he is now 3 months old and will cry if I take my breast out 😫 I though I had made peace with it until tonight when we locked ourselves out of the house (me him and hubby) he was colicky so we where going for a walk.... It was taking forever for the locksmith since it's Sunday night and he was hungry and we didn't have a bottle of course so he was crying and I tried breastfeeding him and just made it worse his cryes just got louder and more "hurtful" and I was crying myself (still am right now ) I feel like a failure, and as if baby rejects me and not being able to do something that should be so natural really hurts and I feel like nobody would understand or I don't even have anyone to talk about it. So this is my venting. Please pray for me ladies I know that there are moms out there going through so much worse and I shouldn't even be complaining but I can't hold it in anymore.