The fear

This fear has supassed irrational and is now just debilitating. 
I am just so scared that I'm not going to bring my little guy home. I don't know why but it's overwhelming me now. It is my greatest fear and with my due date coming up faster and faster I'm just a nervous wreck. I organize his room and his clothes and everything and I just can't help but think to myself "what if he doesn't come home, what will I do with all of this? What will I do with myself? Will I ever want to have another? Will my husband fall apart? Will it wreck my marriage? Will we lose each other in a fog of distraught?"
I just can't focus on anything happy when my mind starts to think like that. I really do lose it.