I need someone

I'm struggling with self esteem, and with weight. It's been a hard couple years for me I've lost a baby, had surgery, moved around about five times in the last year and lost almost everything. All this took a toll on my self esteem, and my weight. I've gained twenty pounds, my doctor advised me I've over weight. I try to lose weight, I eat healthier and I try to exercise but I'm so sore and exhausted all the time (I'm a chef I work twelve hour days). I don't feel sexy and I hate it, my boyfriend and I have our one year anniversary in two weeks. I want to feel and look good for our trip. Anyone have suggestions or want to make a private group to support eachother. My friends don't get it they are all still skinny. I was once a size two I'm now a twelve. I just want to feel good about myself. Help