My husband and I have been together for 8 years...since we were teenagers. A year and a half ago we went through a really hard time when he cheated on me emotionally with another woman. I left him but about a year ago through hard work we mended things. I could really see a change in him and he finally grew up. He was devestated when I left. Since, we have been doing better than ever. In April we finally became pregnant after struggling with infertility (We struggled even before the break up) and we were elighted!!! 2 weeks ago was our anniversary and we decided not to do anything too big and instead save the big celebration for fall and a romantic trip up north. I still got him a card, he didn't get me anything. It hurt, but I moved past it. Two days ago I found deleted emails on his phone from porn websites. I knew he watches porn, but I did not know the extent. He ended up admitting it all. He had made accounts on porn websites and was talking with some other girls from different countries. He also paid $50 to watch a girl on live webcam. He apologized again and again and even cried (which he never does) I am impressed he was so honest but I am incredibly hurt. He told me this had absolutely nothing to do with me but I can't help but feel not good enough and my self esteem is gone ...but I can't bring myself to understand or forgive or move on. I'm 20 weeks pregnant. He was doing this when we found out we are having a girl and during our anniversary. I don't know what to think...or do...