My girlfriend rarely wants to have sex anymore

John
Our sex life used to be so vibrant but now it's rare and textbook. I feel like I'm driving a car and she's just there riding a lot of the time. 
We'd go sex toyshoppping and have sex in random places but now we barely have sex once or twice a week. The only time she was adamant about sex was when she was ovulating and it made me feel used. 
I try to notice her with gifts, massages, kind gestures, body affirmation, sexual stimulation but nothing makes her respond to me positively and she NEVER comes on to me. I used to eat her out regularly but she started stopping from doing it a while back because she didn't shave or some other undisclosed reason which I respected but in turn she no longer performs oral on me at all. 
On top of that she doesn't want me to masturbate so I'm becoming very restless and when I express how I feel about it to her she says "I never said I don't want to have sex but this conversation isnt helping". I'm just very confused and sad and restless out of my mind and feeling very undesirable. 
What do I do to get back the spice? What do you do when talking doesn't work? What do you when sex is only used as a tool by your partner and not a form of intimacy? What do you do when you feel like your not attractive to your partner anymore?