Am I wrong to feel like this?

Question

About a year ago when I was 15 I thought I was pregnant my period was late and the test even said I was pregnant but than I got my period . Ever since than I've wanted a baby. Don't give me the comments about how I'm not ready and all of that . I'll admit last year I was not ready but now I am . Me and my boyfriend of 4 years are trying to have a baby. He is 18 has his own apartment and has a good job . I've been taking care of my niece since she was a baby, she is 17 months now and I do everything for her because I live with my sister and her husband  right now . I just found out my sister is pregnant again and I'm happy for her but at the same time I am so jealous and I feel upset because I wish it was me ... I've been so depressed about not being pregnant . Honestly I don't know what to do .

Answer

You don't want to hear the truth but you're asking for advice, so I'm going to tell you what you don't want to hear anyway. Take it or leave it - you're not ready. Enjoy your youth. You have plenty of time ahead of you; there is no rush. Children are exhausting and expensive and at fifteen/sixteen you know nothing about how to run a household or even what you want out of life yet. Wanting a child is understandable; but acting on it at your age is ill advised. You are not wrong to feel the way you do at all - but let's take a hard look at this. So your SO has a job. What if he loses it? Does he have six months of wages saved up? What about transportation? You can't drive yet on your own legally - so you're going to be a one car family? What if he has to get to work and you have to take the baby to a doctor's appointment? What if the tires go out? Can you afford $350 for new tires? What if you need an emergency dental procedure? What about insurance - do you have any? What if you or your child develop medical problems? Can you afford it? What about your credit - you're too young to build a true credit line; what about him? What if his car engine fails and you can't afford to fix it? How will you finance a new car? How will you be able to pay for the increase in insurance and a car payment?

Life is hard, and expensive.

People make it work, yes, but many of them don't opt to struggle willingly. Think long and hard before attempting this. You have SO MUCH TIME ahead of you.

Answer

So you admit you weren't ready last year but now you think you are? Think about how you'll feel next year. You want advice? Take it from someone who had a baby at 17. Please wait. I turned 18 a week later. I thought I was done being immature and going out with friends but, they can do whatever whenever, stay out as late as they want, because they don't have a sitter watching their baby. Shit my friend's all stopped coming around because none of them wanted to be around a baby. And a job at a fast food place Is not sufficient enough to cover all The expenses of a child. You need good insurance and good money coming in. Don't jump the gun. You're only 16. Live your life first.

Answer

No no no no no. Talk to your sister. I can't imagine she's going to be okay with you deciding another baby is helpful in her household. Make a good life for your child, get a good education and make sensible choices. I'm only 23 and ttc and I've done so much to get to where we are. I'm married, I'm a teacher and own a house with my husband. I've been desperate since before then too. I also come from a low income family where my mum didn't make the right choices and I ended up growing up on baked beans on toast and pasta and developed anxiety from a young age every time she spent too much money on herself or every time the petrol light when off. Don't put your own child through it please. I still have anxiety now and get manically anxious about money too when I don't need to.

Answer

Finish school, mov run with you boyfriend. See how well you live together, get a job, save up, and THEN  have a baby. I understand baby fever even at that age. But think about it. Do you have child care while your in school and your bf is working? You said yourself you look after your niece so your sister won't be able to look after your baby. And is your boyfriend aware of how expensive a baby is? Depending on where you live you have to pay for Drs visits, ultrasounds, any tests they do, and up to like $20,000 to give birth (without insurance) REALLY think about your decision before continuing to act on it.

Answer

I telling you this because I actually lived through it: listen to the previous comments! If I could go back in time and make the decision to wait so that I could provide a better life for my child and give them the time and effort they deserve, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Answer

Not wrong to feel like that. Only wrong to act on it. A 16 year old isn't old enough to have a baby. I doubt you even pay for all of your own bills, live alone, have a career, have your own car... And no offense but a four year relationship in high school doesn't say much. Neither of you have experienced the real world and therefore probably never had any actual serious issues. It'll change your relationship entirely and your life. You have all the time you can to have a baby

Answer

I had my first at 23 and dam it was a shock. I had a 7 year relationship and that broke down. People just sometimes out grown each other. You probably think the idea is wonderful but in reality it's hard. I would personally wait a few years until you're both financially stable and both 100% sure it's want you want. I wish you luck but in all honesty I hope you wait and enjoy freedom and your relationship whilst you can x

Am I wrong to feel like this?

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