Please tell me I'm not the only one

I breakdown sobbing whenever i get the first signs of AF. Like I literally can not peel myself out of bed, it's like a whole body ache. I feel like such a failure and idiot for getting my hopes up. It's such a heartbreaking feeling when you feel like you did everything right all month long and it leads to absolutely nothing, it makes me feel exhausted and so sick and tired of

trying. I tell myself every month this is the last time I'm going to let myself feel this way, I give up. But at the end of af I just can't let it go, I want it so badly it hurts. 😩😩