Venting

Ahh yesterday was my birthday just like last year I had to spend my birthday alone my husband had to work and family and friends were busy so I just try to make the best out of it I thought maybe my parents would like to go to dinner but they canceled and wanted to reschedule so that was the breaking point I ran nice hot shower and cried just felt soo alone on the one day I really didn't want to be. I've never really had good birthdays but I always hope for a better one the next year it just seems to never happen. Ahh we been ttc for 14 months and just praying I can have my miracle my bundle of joy cause lately things have just been so shitty and I feel like nothing but getting my bundle of joy could make me happy at this moment I'm just soo emotionally right now I try stay positive so much and I try so hard to not stress but after another birthday spent by myself I'm feeling soo negative. I just feel like screaming on the top of my lungs and then curling up into a ball and crying my eyes out!