Do you use past fights against your SO in a current argument??

Question

Sometimes its not that I'm using things against him, it's that he did what he wasn't supposed to again. Is it fair to bring it up because its still an issue or should I disregard the past? Comment below.

Answer

I bring it up to make points at times not to rub it in his face. Or sometimes we bring it up for laughs cause of the ridiculous things we say when we're mad. There have been a handful of times where I brought up stuff from the past cause I was really angry. But usually no we always say "no bringing up the past"

Answer

It's trying to show he did it again- not using it against him. Mine can be pretty thick headed (German, Irish, Native American & a few others) and I know I can be a block head to (Irish, Canadian French, Dutch, Russian, Native American & some others) so when we get mad- it's fun to say the least. ( he has short fuse & big temper, I have long fuse & big temper) so If he repeatedly does something that pisses me off- I tell him & give examples from the past.

Answer

I do.it in times like you just stated, or when he's being air headed and needs an example of his stupidity. But I don't just be like oh yea well you did this like a year ago. To justify anything

Answer

I don't believe it's right, that's part of the forgiving. You have not been specific, that would be helpful. but if you treat anybody like a child and say you can't do this there going to do it, human nature to rebel. maybe you should look into other ways to communicate of what you don't like and how it affects you. am not trying to be rude, it's just the way you worded your question.

Answer

If we have the same fight over and over again than yeah I'll reference those specific fights. But most of the time my husband will bring stuff up. He has a hard time letting things go.

Answer

It's hard but it's not fair to keep a running list of the wrongs in a relationship. It's all a part of fighting fair, if you want productive arguments you have to fight fair. It lowers the chance of someone being hurt unnecessarily.

Answer

Guys hate it when you do that, i was taught by my chaplin years ago that its like picking up a knife and throwing it at them.  They hate it so much.
​So i learnt, 
​You can plan what will happen in a fight, so you cant plan (or use) past fighs.