My Hoe Story #1 (feel free to share your hoe stories in the comments) (:

So.. Ima keep it real with you guys. I was no saint in highschool. I was a little fast little heffa. Around 11th/12th grade, I started experimenting and sending lil provocative pictures to people I was into (getting them in return of course, this ain't no one way street). I didn't really give a fuck about the whole "leave it for the boys imagination" talk older women would give me. For the most part, I liked my boobs. Liked my butt. Why not show it, shoot. So me being the hoe that I was.. I was always so curious as to what some of my guy friends were looking like naked. So at this point I had to figure out how I was gonna see the d without getting all flirty and stuff cause I didn't wanna be fake like that have him thinkin I'm in love and shit just so I can see some dick.. No. So I rounded up my childhood bestfriend, and we started plotting. Now this girl is a hoe too. A super hoe. This girl fucked her boss. AT THE JOB YALL. He is 27 y'all. Wife AND kids. Bless their hearts. Anyway. We decided to just take the Ol traditional Fuckboy way: "hey lets play a game haha :P". Now there was this one guy I was just preying on. He was my friend, we talked a lot and he was real cool. We stayed laughing. What I did was I put him in this kik group chat with me and my bestfriend. Casual laughing you know har har hee hee whatever. And then we hit his ass with the "lets play a game we bored" type thing lmao. We gave him the disclaimer. Told him the instructions and he was cool with it. Y'all when I tell you guys that I was excited. He was a nice lil tall Latino papi. 6'4 maybe. Dimples. Nice lil chicken nugget complexion 😩😩😩😩😩👌🏾👌🏾 I had HIGH expectations for that dick. So we goin through the levels. Removing pieces of clothing as we go. And when he took that shirt off. Y'all. YALL. Them abs. Nice and chiseled. I had to lock my phone and just sit on my bathroom floor for a minute. I was too overwhelmed. Ok so now we're continuing. At this point me and my friends tops were off. He had all his shit off except for them boxers so I'm like "it's go time 😎". He started getting all cocky talking about some "I don't know if y'all ready for this". I'm like oh shit papi bring the heat fuck my life up daddy yes!!! So we're waiting. I was excited as FUCK. Eyes glued to the phone. Y'all. This man sent me the sorriest picture of the 21st century. Idk if he was tryna be sexy or what. But this man. Layin butt ass naked on his bed. Had his draws over his dick with the balls hanging out. Y'all I was so angry. I wouldn't let it slide. I told him he better quit playin w me and whip that thing out or God help him. So he's like ok ok give me a minute. I'm excited all over again I'm like ok ok it's go time x2 I'm ready. Y'all I was so disappointed. His dick deadass looked like a salamander. He was just choking it, damn near about to cut off his damn circulation.  I had to preserve his ego tho. I was like "damn 😩🙈🙈🙈❤️❤️❤️"

My best friend and I were on the phone at the time, and when we seen it we just busted out laughing. Everything about the picture was wrong. Y'all I was so mad. I'm thinking I played him but really-- I got played. Talkin bout "I don't know if y'all ready for this." I'm thinking once I seen the dick it was gon be hurricane M. Fuck that it was nothin but a drought that day.