This will be long. I met this lady due to unfortunate circumstances and we got really close. Her daughter is about the same age as mine (16) and were friends when my daughter 1st started school here. My daughter let her relationship with this girl drift away because she didnt agree with how this ladies daughter acted. This girl had a relationship with a 20yo and shes 16 which is also age of consent. The mother allowed him to live in her home and let her move to the guys moms home for a few months. No judgement because i dont know the entire situation. This girl cheated on her boyfriend with 12 guys in the 2yrs they have been together. In return he turned into a jealous controlling man. They recently broke up and my daughter recently broke up with her boyfriend due to him getting jealous and starting to be mean because guys comment on her butt. Yes, she tells them im with blah blah and i dont appreciate you talking to me that way. But jealousy is a huge deal so she decided they werent going to work out. Ok. Well this 20yo and her decided they want to be friends. And ive gone through her phone and checked everything without her knowing and friends is all she wants. He has said a couple times that he wants to ask her out but she says everytime that she doesnt want to be with him because she knows how things got with his ex and shes not ok with being controlled. She told my friend that she was friends with this guy and wanted to be honest so that if she found out from her daughter that they are hanging out she would know from herself that friends is all they will be. My friend asked me how i feel about the situation in front of my daughter and i addressed them both that she is allowed to have friends and especially with this "man" (who is very much a manchild) it would go no further. This caused a ton of drama. My husband went and addressed this guy and our daughter that it wasnt going to happen and that they are allowed to be friends because he trusts her and that any upcoming issue between this guy and this family would be no business of ours because we dont want the extra drama. I got a text the next day that her 14yo daughter was there when my husband said this and because "i dont have her back" shes cutting me out and told her kids they are no longer allowed to speak to anyone in my household. Umm ok were 40yo and because you had problems with this young man and your daughter my daughter cant have friends? I dont get it. The only response i gave her was that neither of us were there when this discussion happened that i apparently dont have her back on and her listening to how her 14yo child interpreted it instead of having the decency to be an adult and come talk to the adults is not ok and shouldn't be grounds for just cutting someone out of their lives when we've been there for so long. she says I'm childish and she no longer needs me in her life and i was a great best friend until i wasnt a friend at all. Wtf? Our daughters just got out of 10th grade not us. We didnt have a problem with each other when they werent friend, although on many occasions we tried getting them both to work on their problems. They were civil even when they had to be around one another why cant we work on our issue. Am i in the wrong here?

***Also before you say my 16yo (will be 17 in 1 month) shouldnt be talking to a 20yo even as friends 1. Its a small town, across the street is where all kids 15-20 hang out to play basketball and other sports because its the only sports area in the town. I dont expect her to come home every time someone talks to her and 2. Thats not the question so i dont care what you have to say to me about it. My daughter has great judgement of character and is very open and honest with everyone on her opinion of them. I trust her 100%.