Am I right to be sad/upset ?

Question

Long story short ... Yesterday my fiancé and I had to put our 9 month old kitty down. This hit me really hard I'm am really sad n I can't keep myself together. we had planned on going to his parents today but I am very sad n I just wanted to be home I didn't want to go out. He ended up leaving at 10 to go watch a football game from 1-4 and also pick up the kids since his mom is watching them . It makes me so mad and angry for him not staying longer and leaving me when I feel like I'm falling apart.  Do I have the right to be even more hurt by him being so care less ?  Right now I'm just home alone with my other crying my eyes out I just so sad n upset because he doesn't seem to understand I needed him .. He says is my fault for not going with him but why do I have to go for hours to his parents when I'm so sad n I keep crying like why ?! 
I miss my kitty so much

Answer

Something you might want to consider is that men and women have very different ways of dealing with their emotions. It isn't a matter of 'sexism' - our brain chemistry & function is simply different, which is part of what can make us work together so well when we start to understand the differences.

I would guess that your SO is probably upset as well, but men tend to be taught from an early age to be 'tough' and to shut down their emotions when they become overwhelming. So his wanting to have life flow like normal or keeping himself busy or occupied, may just be his way of dealing with those emotions. If you get angry at him for not being able to read your mind or understand the female perspective (we nurture, and therefore need nurturing) he may just get angry and confused back, and it won't help either of you to cope with this loss. You do have every right to be sad & upset, just be sure you don't mix the emotions from your loss with the frustration of your SO not having a female brain. ;)

Grief is a process, it comes along with very physical ailments, waves of emotions, and needs for certain things to help us to overcome it and move on. You can't always rely on others to fill those needs for nurturing though - so take some time to nurture yourself. <3 Take a bath, cry when you need to, have a cup of tea/hot chocolate and take a long nap when you can... sleep really can help. And give yourself time, treat it like you are ill for a while, get extra rest and try to eat healthy, eventually your heart will start to heal.

& My deepest sympathies over your loss. My fur/feather babies are as loved as children, and I know just how much losing one can effect the heart.

Answer

I would be heartbroken if I were you! I'm so sorry you have to experience this! He should be more supportive and understanding in your time of pain.

Answer

Its understandable how your feeling. I understand it completely, but u have to understand men dont carry their feelings the way we do. So maybe he needed to get out the house. I dont think u should be upset with him.

Answer

I said yes but you shouldn't be mad at him. Some men really can't handle it! I'm sure he's upset too but would rather be out in public :) men handle their emotions very differently!!