Cant bring myself to do it.

I cant bring myself to take a test... I'm so nervous. I want it to say positive so bad. Idk if i can handle another month of failure. I feel bad i know my husband wants this to and he's also probably tired of seeing me cry every month over it. I had a weird short four day spotting. I cant shake the feeling i might be. Sends some good vibes and baby dust my way please. If I'm pregnant I'll comment with the test tomorrow.