how does it feel to be happy?

How does it feel to be truly happy? I don't think I've felt happiness since I was a child. The years just chipped away any hope I had of feeling happy and just became dead inside. I don't feel anything but pain. I'm not suicidal, I know I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've literally tried everything to become mentally healthy. I've been seeing a therapist every week for the past 5 years, done meditation, on various antidepressants, doing consistent exercise, trying to find hobbies, going out and meeting people, just nothing works. Just don't know what happiness is anymore or how it's supposed to feel. 

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