I love two guys...

I'm in love with my boyfriend and my former friend who dropped me. I met my friend over OkCupid two years and decided in June to readd him back on Snapchat. We start talking on a regular basis. In early July, he asked for a good night kiss knowing I had a boyfriend (he tried to play it off) so I delete him after I tell my boyfriend. Then I get depressed for three day because I couldn't talk to him, so my boyfriend said I could readd him. So I did. Then I went to the beach, got drunk and told my friend I thought I was in love with him. I got blocked on his IG and snapchat. Now I randomly get sad and missing him comes in waves.