Will it happen again?

I had my first child in September 2008. The birth and everything after was traumatic and not as expected. Within days after coming home with my baby I remember sitting on my couch with tears streaming down my face. I wanted to feel my baby inside me again. I hated it when my baby cried or even gurgled coz I dreaded having to be responsible for him. I hated that my husband got out of the house every day and I had to figure out how to look after a baby. I hated that I hated motherhood so much and I felt petrified that something would happen to my baby because I felt the way I did. I felt empty and I felt cheated and I felt absolutely lost and confused. I read stories about mom's who's babies died and imagined how that would take away the pain and confusion I was feeling at not enjoying having my baby around. I finally plucked up the courage to email my OB (I was too ashamed to call and actually say the words out loud) and told her a bit of what I was going through. She emailed me back and offered no support or advice other than "I suggest you see a psychiatrist" I had to try to find a psychiatrist on my own. When I finally went to one she was young and had no kids. She spent the entire session trying to see if I was bipolar. When she couldn't come up with any evidence of that she gave me a script for medication and sent me on my way.

I have hardly any memories of the first two years of my beautiful child's life because the hole I was in was so deep and dark that I could not see anything else. I was finally able to climb out but since then people have made comments about how one should just "get over it" and be thankful for your baby. I am ashamed.

Now I am pregnant again (planned) and I am so scared to tell my new OB about the experience for fear of being treated harshly again. He is a new Dr that I only started seeing this year. He is extremely nice so far but how the heck do I ask him about this? Is there medication I can go on the day I give birth? I am so scared to go through all of that again and so scared of being judged.