depression

This post really isn't about my period or BIrthcontrol or sex I just need help .... I have been thinking about suicide for quite a long time. I feel depressed all the time. I don't go anywhere because I'm scared of seeing people and them thinking I'm fat or ugly or they are just going to stare at my acne and judge me and just think I'm gross. I feel horrible I think I'm disgusting. I honestly want to die... I tried talking to my mom about it and she doesn't believe me she says "you're probably just going to get your period soon" Uhm I've felt like this everyday for about a year now. She always tell me that I'm stupid and young and I don't know what depression is and I need to get over it. I need help. I want a therapist I want to be put on some sort of pill to make me feel better. But he won't believe me. No one believes me and it's so hard. Everyone has me convinced that I'm crazy and it makes me feel even More shitty about my self... So the moral of this whole post is ... Is there any way I can get help from a professional without having my mom set it up or be part of it. I'm 15 and