The right thing, or acting like "a spoiled brat"...

So, my parents divorced when I was 3 yrs old, and I didn't see or hear from him after 6 yrs old, unless his parents told us stuff (us: my sis and I, more on that later). My dad never paid child support and eventually my mom gave up. Then, when I was 14, he applied for social security disability. When they saw he had 11 years back support, they started sending me half his monthly check, I got almost $400 a month. I figured my mom would take it, but they sent her a large part of his lump sum award (you get a lump sum when you win SSI, because they count from the day you file until they approved it, which can take years. I've been trying for 8yrs myself) so she took that and she helped me open a savings account. I was able to buy my first car with it... I found out later just how hard he faught against it, and even though I hadn't seen him since I was 6 yrs old, I swore to never speak to him. Then when I was 19 yrs old, newly married and living in the state my hubbys from, he wrote me a letter when he learned I moved to Washington, where he lives somewhere, I'm not sure where. I wrote him back, looking for answers, closure. When I found out the reason he disappeared from my life when I was 6 yrs old was because I "didn't try hard enough" to keep in touch with him. I was 6, and since I didn't call often and my letters back were "short and childish" he decided he didn't want to write me anymore. I was clearly wasting his time. Pathetic, right? Sure got that closure though... lol My sister is not his biological daughter, but he and his parents treated her as such (only good thing he's done) and being 5 yrs older than me, she has more (happy) memories of him and also literally keeps in touch monthly with everyone who's ever been called family, including her ex-husband and ex in laws, and damn near half the friends she had since 6th grade. I swear, facebook has saved her a ton in long distance phone calls that take hours...

I mentioned that I am trying to get SSI, well it turns out I got screwed genetically, and I spent 10 yrs in and out of fugue states (blackouts), my memory and sense of time horribly confused... I was almost in what you would think was late stage dementia, but it would come and go. At one point I realized that my paternal grandparents (the Armstrongs) hadn't emailed me for a while, and wouldn't answer calls or emails. I asked my sister for the details, and found out that I missed sending a thank you card for birthday money, for 2 yrs in a row. They decided "because I didn't try hard enough to keep in touch with them, or show proper gratitude for the money they sent" that I have no memory of, the years or the cards... And I haven't heard from them since.

Now that you know the back story, here's my issue. Like I said, my sister is in touch still with all the Armstrongs, including the grandparents and father and stepmom. When I told her I was pregnant she mentioned that they would be so excited. I firmly and explicitly stated that they don't deserve to know, or to have any info about this. They didn't want to be around for me in my worst moments, why should they get to share in the best ones? We argued a bit, but I told her if she doesn't agree, I won't be including her either. She knew it was a bluff, but it drove home how serious I was. Things went well until last week, when I saw she had shared my 10 week sonogram pics with Dan and Vicki (I haven't really called him dad in 2 decades, so that's their names) on Facebook. I don't spend much time there, mostly just post catch up stuff to extended family and hs friends. She figured I wouldn't see, couldn't get mad. When she texted me to apologize, I accepted it, but told her that I don't trust her with stuff like that anymore, and anything new I send won't go to her.

I know it sounds petty and stupid, because she's obviously told them, and I can't spend the babys entire life hiding pics from my sister... But I feel so hurt, and so angry. I didn't want them to share in my happiness, they haven't earned the right.. But I love my sister, and want her involved in it all..

What do you guys think? I'm asking because you all know how special this time is, which she stomped all over, but you're also smart and rational, and won't respond with some of the dumbass stuff you get from asking your Facebook friends from high school who are mostly guys... lol I can't "whip it out and slap her" even if I had a penis that'll reach her in Arizona... Lol

So? Help?!