So my SO and I were going at it in the creaky bed of my grandparents' guest room (we've never managed to figure out the whole sex thing since apparently we are both a couple of nerds who have trouble breeding) and there was a condom malfunction. I came up off that rope-frame bed like "what the FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK was that" and we're both losing it (21 is waaay too young -I like babies but I prefer it when I can return them) and freaking out... We shower, sort of quiet-yelling about whattttt was that, me wishing out loud that I could sue the condom company, laughing like loons the entire time. Anyway, Plan B is a thing, I'm fine, etc etc, but the hilarious part is that we'd been talking about better communication because everyone needs that shit... I freaked out a while after and was working hard not to lose it. Apparently his master plan for the big finale had been to say "HEEEEEERE COMES THE AIRPLANE!!!" and I might have murdered him by accident 😂😂😂

Anyway, if you've ever felt inadequate about yourself, at least you probably haven't been prevented from having sex on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS by what felt like the hand of God. Periods, people showing up, plain old difficulty figuring out what goes where, and now this.. It was definitely the most extreme, but sweet mother of Mary, how hard can it be to get something going? Other Birth Control, here I come!

PS the Boy's take on it is that he'd rather be a monk and abstain forever than see me pregnant at this stage in life. Not a douchey type, just a shitttt condom 😂😂😂😂