Haven't Felt Like Myself...

I think I had a slight form of depression prior to my pregnancy that might have become further amplified in a few things here and there while I was pregnant. I attributed most of my outbursts or random crying spells to the hormones raging within me. I was screened for PPD and I was told I fall on the borderline so I should keep a look out for after my baby came and things didn't change for me. Well my son is 3wks old now and when he was born by c section a week early I wasn't able to breastfeed him exclusively like I had anticipated. I barely held him after the surgery and I kind of just felt like there was a barrier between us. To this day I struggle with breastfeeding and I hate giving him formula. I feel inadequate and like I can't properly provide for my son and it brings me to tears every time. When he cries and cries without stopping I kind of space out and just go numb. I know this isn't normal and I really think I may be suffering from PPD. It's getting harder to put on a happy face when all I feel is sadness. I'm not even sure why but I can't shake it.