Help please!

So I am trying for my second baby. The first one I got pregnant the first time I tried but I've put on a lot of weight sense then. I had postpartum really bad and got put on this pill and gained 40 lbs in a month and a half. Started to lose of and then my dad passed away so thank you stress this weight iSnt going anywhere. Anyways, I'm afraid the weight gain is going to affect my ability to get pregnant but the only thing keeping my depression away is the idea of having a baby right now. Anyways, if it doesn't happen, I'm not sure how to handle the disappointment. Help?