I'm struggling with post partum depression. I really just decided that's what this is today.

I'm going to make an appointment to talk to someone tomorrow, but I just feel like a failure. My son is 18 days old and my husband goes back to work tomorrow so it's just me. And I'm terrified that I will just fall into this awful cycle. Every time I try to get stuff done around the house my son starts to cry, or he is hungry, or has a dirty diaper. And I feel like a failure because I don't want to breastfeed because my boobs hurt, and I feel like a failure because the house is dirty. And I've stopped losing weight but I'm not cleared to excercise yet. And my maternity stuff is too big but my clothes are too small and nothing looks good. And I'm flabby and I don't want my husband to see me naked. And I feel gross because of the lochia, and leaky boobs, and it's hot so every time I get kind of active i get sweaty.

And I'm scared that I will just lay in my bed and cry while he naps tomorrow. And I bet my dogs think I hate them because I haven't had time to love on them lately.

Im rambling now....but how common is this really??