help please (postpartum depression)?
How do you know if you have postpartum depression?
I am 17 and my son is a month. Sometimes I can be so happy and sometimes I can be so like down and think terrible thoughts. Not any thoughts of hurting my baby boy, but a few about hurting myself. I mean I love my son and don't know what I would do without him but I don't feel like a mom, I don't feel like he is my baby. At sometimes I feel like this is a bad dream. Why do I feel this way? I should always be happy about my baby. Sometimes I just look at him and think like why am I here? Or why is this my baby? And then I just cry. My life isn't how I want it to be. I try everything to get these bad thoughts out of my head but they keep coming back. It's not that I don't want him because I do that's why I'm confused about these thoughts and feelings. I don't like talking to my son's father or my parents because I just don't express my feelings and I don't want them to think I am crazy. I dont know , I just hate all this shit. I just want to go to sleep forever. I made this post anonymously because I don't want anyone to call me a bad mom or a bad person for feeling and thoughts I can't control.
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