I was married last September and gained two wonderful step children with my marriage. I love them dearly as if they were my own but I still did want my own. My husband and I started trying for our own quickly after the wedding and conceived a child in March. I only carried to 9 weeks where they told me they could no longer find the heartbeat. It was the worst day of my life. I have such a hard time dealing with the fact that this is the life that was planned for me. Why did this happen to me? We have waited my two cycles after I miscarried to get back on track and have tried the last two months to conceive again. But to no avail. I just started my period again today and I'm so beaten down by it. I hate it. I constantly wonder when will it be my time for a little happiness? When will I be able to not suffer the pain I feel from this loss? I wanted that baby so badly and I'm so scared to try again because I'm so terrified of it happening again. I don't think I could handle another loss. I don't know how anyone deals with multiple miscarriages. I commend you all who can deal with the pain. The pain makes me think bad things. I get mad at others who are happy with their newborns. I resent every new pregnancy announcement I see. I cry about the slightest things because I feel so overwhelmed with sadness from my loss. How long will it be this hard? How long will I have to wait to happy? How long?