When u set out planning to have a baby, u are so naive and innocent. You think u "make love" and magic and blessings happen and life is created. Fast forward cycle after cycle, complications, add an operation, add drugs to have u make more eggs, and u have sex, and hope to god u get pregnant coz u despise having sex between CD9-CD18 and nothing still. Then u do <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>, your husband holds ur hand while a doctor injections your husbands super boosted sperm into your vagina with a syringe and you hate it because it's not natural, there's 3 people in that room. Another man is holding your knee while injecting your husband's sperm in u. It's horrible. Your husband looks so sad, this is not what he pictured our baby's conception to be. It fails, you try again. It fails again. You cry everyday. Why am I being punished. People pray over you. Your blessing is coming they say. The hold your belly and say God is busy working his miracle! Your time is coming. You get your period. There's no miracle. You go for a second opinion. They tell u your uterus shape is funny. It's a T shape. He measures on the scan. There's no way the sperm would reach. The other place never told u this. They said you're fixed and psychologically perfect! This doctor says you're not. He tells more devasting things. Like u may have bad eggs. Then he says with that shape of uterus, you won't carry full term, but it's fine babies survive these days with technology being so advanced. My poor unborn baby that I don't even know if I can have. But at least he says I can have a baby right? We decide to wait a month to start <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. I hold on to one last hope of a miracle. What if I am that testimony that says "the doctors said otherwise but look, I was blessed with a miracle!" I take a pregnancy test a few days before my period is due. It's negative. I feel like shit but I know what the doctor said but I am hoping for a miracle. I take these Dhea tablets to help my egg quality but they say don't take if pregnant hence the pregnancy test. I know I'm not pregnant it's impossible naturally, I know. But I am so so desperate to hold on to faith and hope and my prayers being answered. My boobs are sore, they are never sore. I feel nauseous and hungry all the time. Omg, that's it, I have a miracle. I get the period cramps. I see the blood. There's no miracle. <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> will come. I'm so sad. I'm so scared. I wish I was normal and my husband and I happily made love and created our beautiful baby and these past 2 years of hurt, pain, misery and sadness were just erased. We will start <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>...