So my mother-in-law generally does not annoy me or get on my nerves because she minds her business and stays out of mine. For a couple of years she got into the habit of asking for money from us for various reasons, but after many heated conversations with my husband about giving her money simply because she can't manage her own it stopped. However, this post is about her being a bad grandma. We have a 4 year daughter who she rarely sees. I can literally count on my two hands how many times she has come to visit. Even though the drive time is about 2 hours we always make the effort to go to her which is more difficult to travel with a toddler than travel for yourself. (BTW- she is in her mid 50's and gets around fine for other things.) However, first she blamed her health and then transportation issues for not coming around much but now her health is much better and she purchased a very reliable vehicle and still never visits. When we had our first daughter we invited her to come stay with us, help me out (I had a c-section) and spend time with her first and only grandchild. She made up excuses and basically refused. Now we are giving her a second chance with our second child's birth because there is a very good chance we will be moving out of state within 2-3 months after the baby arrives so she will be SOL as far as seeing her grandkids. Once again she is making excuses as to why she can't help out 2 months before baby is even born. Its not like we are asking her to cook all the meals, clean the house daily, run all errands, etc.... We just need a little extra help with our 4 year old and occasional house tidying up. So at this point I don't want to make any effort for her to see either children. In fact I don't even want her at the hospital when I give birth and plan on treating her like extended friends and family which means she can come visit after the 2 week mark. We will not be transporting everyone to her for her convenience anymore. If she doesn't care enough neither do I and my husband is on board because he too is fed up. According to him she was a bad mother and is just as bad of a grandmother. Thoughts? Opinions? Does it seem like we are being petty? I feel like this is a punishment for her lack of concern and I'm okay with that.