friends?

Don't have any. Yeah there are people who claim to be my friends but I know they talk about me behind my back. She's so weird, or she's so loud, or she's so extra. These friends that I told my secrets to and they told the world. Friends I thought I could trust. Now I know you can't trust anyone but yourself. And I feel like everyone has a best friend, their other half, ride or die. But I've never had one of those. It's not like I get bullied and no one likes me, but like I want a true friend. A lot of people say that I'm really funny and I should be a comedian, and they are people I socialize with, and maybe I'd call them a friend. But not a true friend they probably talk behind my back honestly. And it seems like when I might actually start to have a best friend, they find another bestie or something. And I thought I had this best friend but all she does is talk about boys like all her boy problems and I'm like is that how I'm useful because only been in 3 real relationships in my life. But it's like whenever they tell me their problems I'm all ears. But when I tell them about mine the message is read, the snaps are sent, and no replies.