Baby blues?

Michelle

My son was born on 9/2 via c section. I feel like I'm struggling and I'm not sure if I'm normal. I cry almost every day.

Sometimes it's because I feel like I'm failing my son. I fell asleep with him on my chest multiple times, and I know it's dangerous. I was just so tired. I get around 4 hours of sleep a night. I go into every night thinking of the battle ahead. I feel guilt. I feel like I'm going to break him.

Sometimes it's because I miss my old life. I miss cuddling with my puppies and my husband. I miss my husband so much. I miss cuddling in bed, talking about our days. I miss our dinners. I miss him. Now I'm home all day by myself. By the time he gets home, changes, eats, does stuff around the house, we have 10 minutes before bed.

Other times its because I'm terrified. I love my son and my husband more than anything. I'd be broken without either. I'm terrified of something bad happening.

Anyone have an experience with this? Does this subside or am I going down the ppd road? Anyone else feeling similar things or am I going nuts?!