I put my hands on him :(

My boyfriend and I had a fight yesterday. We live together and after he got back him last night we didn't talk or sleep in the same room, while he was gone I wrote out a long letter as to why I was bothered and upset. This morning he left without kissing me goodbye like he has everyday since I've moved in with him. I texted him asking him to come home after class so we can talk. He agreed. When he got home I started in on the issues. He wasn't responding much so I pushed him 8 times. I was so upset and heated that I wasn't even thinking about it. All I was thinking was how he was upsetting me more by not really responding. I've never NEVER put my hands on someone like that and never would have thought I would especially to someone I love like him. Now, he wants to end out relationship. He said that that was crossing the line and I agree! It was wrong for me to do so. He said he was going to let me know that in my letter I was right and he was sorry but now that I've pushed him like that, that he just doesn't see how it can be recovered. I know I'm in the wrong for how I acted. He said 90% wants it to be over but 10% is him thinking maybe after he cools down he can forgive it and we could POSSIBLY salvage what's left. 
What do I do guys? This man has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has taken care of me while recovering from cancer. He has loved me, made me feel beautiful and has never laid a hand on me or talked to me in a demeaning way! I don't deserve his grace but I want to fix this with him! I need help on what to say or do! I've apologized and told him it would never happen again but he just seemed to sure that it was too far gone. 
I know what I've done was wrong so please be nice, and help me. I don't deserve him, but I love him so much.