I've been feeling different all month. And I am currently a week late so I figured I'd test. I've just had a feeling that this was gonna be our month. BFN. Go freaking figure! I don't know why I get my hopes up anymore. I'm freaking done! If it happens it happens. I'm tired of spending time on this app on tracking my nonexistent cycle and more importantly I'm tired of getting disappointed. The one dream I have in life is to be a mommy. There are 14&15 year old girls out here getting pregnant from their first time having sex and we have been trying for 18 months. No one else in my family have fertility issues. NOONE! I have four older sisters, all of them with at least two kids. For crying out loud my mom had a still born and was told she could never have kids again AND my dad had prostate cancer when I was conceived. So apparently I am supposed to be here for something and I KNOW I am meant to be a mother so why in the heck is this so hard?!  Never in a million years would I ever think getting pregnant would be this hard. So I'm done. 18 months of disappointment is too long. I could never imagine going through this for years and years. So I am stopping before it gets to that point. We will still be trying but not with apps or tracking or ovulation tests. Nothing. Just good old fashioned, hot, sometimes rough sex. Sorry this is so long I'm just really upset about all this. Goodbye.