Brazilian Wax Adventure!

Jen
So pre-pregnancy, I normally get my nether regions fully waxed. I'm German and dark-haired so unlike my fair, uber-blonde mother, I have pretty coarse hair that creates a regular battle and must be beaten into submission/killed or it irritates the living heck out of my skin. This pregnancy started out high risk due to my history of miscarriages and losing another one last year, so for the first 20 weeks I had no choice but to simply trim the downstairs (shaving is a no-go, it creates WAY more problems for me than solutions). Unfortunately, trimming was not my friend. The hair absolutely irritated my skin to the point where I was raw and had small tears everywhere, so this week I decided "NO MORE!" and scheduled a wax.
Now, I'm no wimp by any means -- I'm an Army veteran and a veterinary nurse working in surgery. I'm also used to the pain that comes with waxing, and the more regularly you do it, the less it hurts. So I wasn't expecting much, but boy was I wrong:
1. Those 20 weeks I didn't have it done allowed my roots to regrow and anchor in like a 200-year-old redwood.
2. I completely forgot about the effects of pregnancy hormones on hair growth, skin sensitivity, and blood flow -- especially down South.
Needless to say, the poor esthetician almost had to peel me off the ceiling. After the first half was finished, adrenaline kicked in and I seemed to adjust (or I went into shock, still not sure), and I was able to sit through the remaining torture session. Afterward I headed over to work to hang out with my husband in between his exam appointments, and sat in his office. I worked on an online project for about 2 hours, then decided to get up and go see what everyone was up to since I haven't been working and I miss it. Suddenly getting up after sitting down was a huge error in judgement as my underwear had stuck against my very pissed off skin, then were suddenly yanked off when I stood up. Basically it felt like another waxing all over again. Of course my husband doubled over in laughter at the expression on my face, and I went to go find a tube of Tritop with tetracaine.
Moral of the story? 
If you're considering a Brazilian while pregnant and have waxed your hoo-ha before: be prepared to cry like a giant baby and/or murder whichever poor esthetician is the unfortunate soul who got assigned to your appointment.
If you're considering a Brazilian while pregnant and have never waxed your hoo-ha before: for the love of all things Holy, DON'T DO IT. Unless you're a sado-masochist. Or insane.