feeling depressed

Feeling like this can't be real , everyone tells me that it's gods way and I know it is but why me ? I've been praying a whole lot now and hoping that he's listening to me . I just want to start my family and not be so down . I can't get out of bed and every time someone asks me if I'm okay I break down even more . My baby is in heaven now and I hope they are watching over me and their daddy . I think this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with . I love you my sweet angel 😇 please bless me with one of your siblings ! I'll never forget you even though I never got a chance to hold you or kiss your or even feel you kick .