Daddy and I just broke up

So my son's father and I just broke up. 2 days ago things got physical and I threw something art the wall because I was really upset at the things grew was saying to me. He grabbed me from behind with his arm around my neck and was pulling but then let go. I feel so guilty because I feel like it's my fault. I love him so much and I wanted to raise our son together. We've be having problems for months, both our fault. But all he does is blame me, and tell me I'm a piece of shit. I know I've done wrong but he acts like an angel to everyone else like he's done nothing wrong. His mother even got in my face that night with a Pine-Sol can. The cops were called and I was completely honest with them and of course him and his mom lied and made me look like a psycho and told him to get a restraining order. They completely ignored tandy he out his hands on me or that his mother came at me. I feel so alone. I miss him and love him but I know it's probably best to stay away. This is so hard for me 😭😭😭