Do I have to be close to my mom?

Question

I care deeply about my mom but for as long as I can remember, we have absolutely no common interests/hobbies/likes/political beliefs (it's as though we're complete opposites in our taste and outlook in everything) but it's never bothered me as we both care and love our family members and enjoy Family Time. That is more than enough for me and I'm truly happy to have that ❤️

I don't care that my mom and I are really different people, with very different personalities and temperaments. But she can't seem to accept it and it's starting to get worse now that my husband and I are expecting our first child. I know that she just wants to be a part of my life (which is so sweet) but why do we have to think alike and like the same things?!

I don't need her to be my best friend with us liking the same things - she just needs to be my mom. She's highly social and has oodles of friends who drop by the place daily (to the detriment of my dad's wine supply 😂) so she's not lonely. How do I get her to stop being offended and acting it out? She is a sweet lady and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but we are simply too different to be besties.

P.s. We've both made efforts over the years to learn and share in each other's interests but it's always been a draining effort that has yet to work out.

Answer

My mom passes while I was pregnant and I get it now. Now I see the similarities vs the differences and I understand more. My child may turn out nothing like me but I will love him none the less. Our personalities might both be strong so we might both be bull headed and want the other to see points, opinions, etc but I will not abandon him and I never abandoned her. Accept your mom because she's your mom. She carried you the way you're carrying your child. She doesn't need yo agree with you political stance, lifestyle,  etc but she does understand you. And you share a bond.

Answer

My mother and I are very different as well. She's getting old now and I want to make a big effort cause one day she'll be gone... I know I would never forgive myself

Answer

Im in the process of limiting contact with my mum/folks, my sister has already broken contact entirely. They're very abusive, manipulative and controlling narcissistic parents. I tried for years to make it work, hoping for a good relationship with my mum, but in the end I just realised it's never going to happen, not unless I agree with everything she says, do everything she wants, and blindly obey her/them without question (even my therapist laughed at the concept of a good relationship with them and advised me the only and best way to go was limiting contact, or even breaking it). 
So, no, you don't Have to be close with your mum, not if it's emotionally detrimental.

Answer

I don't even speak to my mother or the rest of the family, they are crazy and I don't need that stress so I cut them out and it's been the best ever since. They don't know that I'm pregnant now nor do they know my youngest at all. It's your life and you should decide who is in it.

Answer

I haven't spoken to mine in three years, she hasn't bothered with my kids either. My youngest doesn't even remember her. My oldest barely speaks about her. I'm much happier with her not in my life.

Answer

Family gets to be whatever you choose. While you never know what will change over time it is up to you to decide if you wish to have a relationship or not.

Do I have to be close to my mom?

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