What should my daughter call my husband?

Question

I got married 4 months ago to my 3 month old son's father. I also have a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her daddy is very active in her life. She sees him every weekend and most school breaks. My husband has been in my daughter's life since she was two and they are close as well. My issue is that when I got married my daughter started calling my husband daddy. I told explained to her that it might hurt her daddy's feelings and that she can make up a name for my husband instead.  She chose "dad" because he is her step-dad. Now my ex and his family are in a big uproar and saying that it's wrong and she should only call my husband by his name. I never wanted my daughter to feel like she didn't belong in our family just because I married her brother's dad. She is a smart and strong little girl but still sensitive. I don't want to make her feel like she has done something wrong. What should I do?

Answer

I think his family needs to respect your daughter's decision. Daddy and Dad are obviously two separate people in her mind, and you said you gave her a choice on what to call your husband. She's not taking anything away from her biological father by calling someone else Dad.

Answer

Her dad and his family needs to respect what she chooses to call him. It was her choice to call him what she wants to and he needs to get over it.

Answer

My sis in law had this problem with her little one. He was only 3 turning 4 years at the time. She compromised with him calling his real dad Daddy/Dad. And his step dad.. Daddy Scott (so that the step dad element was there but not to replace his real dad). Maybe you could try this? :)

Answer

Do what you feel is best for your daughter! Forget how everyone, including yourself feels about it. If she wants call him dad- that's the name she chose then so be it. Now she has two dads which is better than one! It's a pride thing with people! They feel like someone's taking their place and that's not it at all. The worst thing to do is make a child feel like they have to choose a parent

Answer

Let her decide what she wants to call him and screw anyone who says otherwise.
I had this issue with my ex recently because he isn't involved in my sons life unless it's convenient for him. So for the past almost 4 years now my husband has been filling the role as dad/daddy. We didn't force my son to call my husband dad/daddy he started it on his own and we chose not to correct him on it because my son was comfortable calling him dad/daddy.
As long as you're not forcing her to call your SO dad than there shouldn't be an issue. It may upset your ex and his family but oh well. What I told my ex when he got pissy with me about it was "He has 2 dad's not 1. If he's comfortable calling my husband dad than so be it. I'm not going to correct him on it because I'm not forcing him to call him dad. He knows your his dad as well but my husband is the one who is helping to raise him and is just as much his dad."

Answer

We told my daughter (6) that it was up to her what she feels comfortable calling my husband, the more time that passes, the more she calls him Dad. As far as I'm concerned it's up to her, not anyone else. Her bio dad isn't thrilled, but it's not his decision and it doesn't mean she loves him any less.

Answer

Honestly your daughters father should be happy that you are with a good guy that she wants to call dad. But none the less it's your daughters choice and him and his family should not make her feel bad for doing what feels right to her. I'm sure her biological dad doesn't like it and it hurts his feelings but he shouldn't make your daughter choose.

I was in a similar situation as a child and I hated to be in the middle. I considered my stepdad my dad and my biological father my father. It is what I felt with my heart as a child not what my parents told me to feel or do.

Answer

My daughter calls her step mom Mom or Lina her first name. Her father is very strong minded and stern about her not calling my husband dad at all. So she calls my husband Justin Dad. Just something she made up all on her own. She even sat my husband down to ask him if it would be ok to call him that. But when shes at our house and is talking about my husband she refers to him as dad. Her biological parents are mommy and daddy still at 7 and we probably will always be. And i think being mommy is way better then being mom

Answer

My brother had the same issue with his son and calling his wife (in his life since day one) mom vs calling his mother "mommy". The mother had an issue with it but they left it up to the son. He's 13 now and calls them both mom. His mother and their family got over it eventually. I'm sure your daughters father and his family will get over it too. They will see that she picked that name for your husband and they will recognize the difference it means to her eventually.

What should my daughter call my husband?

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