I don't really know how to begin this story. I'll start with a little bit of the background details to where we are now. I started dating my S/O when I was 15, I am now 22. He is 23. Our relationship never had any problems ever, yes we'd get in little quarrels over stupid things like jealousy, or I think the worst was porn on my side.  Which I kind of grew out of as I got older. It was just an insecurity thing I had with my young age at the time. Other than that there was never really any pressing problems that we've had. I can recall from the first time I laid eyes on him, this was before I really even got to know him that I was in love and very into him, the same went for him towards me. He told me two weeks after we started dating that he loved me and we were together from then on ever since. We were our firsts for everything. Intimacy, love, traveling, just things couples do and experience together. I graduated school 2 years early to be with him and move together. We were head over heals, absolutely. Nothing ever came between us. Our love always overpowered everything, it's something that is very unexplainable, like an unexplainable connection that will never die. About a year and a half ago, we got into a pretty shitty time in our lives, hung out with some pretty shady people with bad intentions from the get go. I ended up cheating on him with a guy that was 9 years older than me, once it happened I didn't know how to get out of it as much as I wanted to it was like I was a silenced 3rd party. He was very manipulative, and played many head games with both me and my S/O. It was a swinger game for the other person involved he tried to get me to get my S/O to sleep with his S/O. I was so naive, I didn't know what the fuck to do. It was a very uncomfortable situation to be in and I will never ever forgive myself. By the time I had gotten to tell him, he had heard from our social group that so many different stories and it got blown into so many different angles that were not true. From then on, We stayed together for a year trying different things to make it work. We changed our social group, I went without a cell phone for over a year and I deactivated a number of my social media accounts to try and gain trust back. I was completely honest with him in what happened. It was truly a mistake. The worst thing is having to go through this with your soulmate and the one person I truly love. What happened was meaningless. I don't know how else to put it. I Love my S/O more than absolutely anything and it makes me physically sick for him not to be there. I moved out this past month and we did no contact for awhile after I found out he was talking to some girl from tinder and he had seen her a couple times. He continued to see her for about 2-3 more weeks. They were intimate it's each other then he broke it off because, he doesn't believe in dating or hookups. He realized it was meaningless and said he was disgusted by the other girl. This was after he messaged me about how he really missed me and wanted to talk. We talked and I forgave him immediately, I mean yes I was hurt but still am but I realize people go through mishaps. We decided to take it slow and things were going absolutely great it was like old times. I Love this guy! So much it's crazy. I forgot to add that I had went to treatment about 2 weeks after he broke up with me for suicidal reasons and utter depression. I didn't tell him at all but my mom had sent him a message. Losing him is just something I don't want to go through. He recently seen a snapchat of an aquantance of ours that had the person I was involved with in it and he completely did a 180. He almost commit suicide because of the PTSD and anger he has gotten from this event. Long story short we both don't want to be with anyone else we just don't know how to get past these events. Anyone experience something like this? Or can relate? Do you think couples therapy would work? This is someone that we had plans together to get married and everything else that comes along with that. We are deeply intertwined together and don't want to end. We've had 7.5 years together and would like many more. Thanks in advance for any advice. Please only serious comments.