Kinda feel like it

I dont know what to think. Me and my husband have not had sex a lot and the last 2 times it took a long time for me to get pregnant. But I lost them both. But now I kinda feel like I am again. I am sacred to be. Sacred to take a test. If I am not I would be sad if I am I would be like why now when so much is not goin right. But I want a baby more then anything and everything seem t be pregnant and I am here just like why could I not keep one of my girls.